( i've been working on a cocktail called grounds for divorce )

[sufferably]

❝ IF IT'S AN EMERGENCY, PRESS SOS. IF IT'S IMPORTANT, LEAVE A MESSAGE. IF IT'S ANYTHING ELSE, HANG UP. THAT MEANS YOU, JIM. ❞ sigyn ◖ 102 ◗ ◖ message ● call ● action ◗

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[ffuckoff]

What, like a toaster? [She waves him to her room, where she's already set up the drinks and cups on a card table.] That's a lot of sounds for something that doesn't have a mouth.

[Wait.] Does it have a mouth?

[sufferably]

Huh? No, like your credits and comm and mail. ( waves a hand. it's not important. )

It has a mouth. All it does it eat and annoy the hell out of me, it should have a mouth.

[ffuckoff]

Yeah, okay. [Whatever.]

[Fiona turns to poke at the thing on McCoy's shoulder.] What, you got a thing against mouths?

[sufferably]

( the tribble evidentially likes the attention, as it lets out a soothing sound. its very presence is apparently therapeutic.

mccoy, however, just huffs. )

I got nothing against any kind of anatomy. How about that.

[ffuckoff]

[Fiona mutters aww and keeps petting the thing.] You just don't like harmless fuzzballs.

[sufferably]

It's true. I've got a vendetta, against them and gods who like taunting me.

( don't fall for it, fiona!!! )

[ffuckoff]

[Nope, too cute. She keeps petting it.] Taunting you with fuzzy aliens? You're pretty easy to taunt. [She takes the tribble off McCoy's shoulder-- without asking, how rude-- and cradles it in her arms.]

[sufferably]

I've been told that, yeah. It's not reason for them to keep doing it.

( he doesn't seem to mind, though. he's been keeping an eye on the thing for days and is happy to pass off duties. )

[ffuckoff]

[Fiona just gets distracted petting the thing for a few seconds. It's so cute, and... she's a terrible hostess.] So, drinks. [She sets the tribble down on the table.]

I got SOCO special for you, you know, as a welcome gesture. You been here long? [She gets out some cups.]

[sufferably]

Thanks. ( the smile that ghosts across his face is sincere, if brief. then he shrugs as he takes a seat. )

A couple of weeks. Seems like longer, sometimes.

[ffuckoff]

[Fiona hands him a cup. There's lemonade and booze on the table.] Sorry, I've been in and out of here, or I would have said 'hi' earlier. Work has been nuts. And yeah, it always feels like forever. [Her first month felt like it went from here to eternity.]

[sufferably]

Don't worry about it. ( he waves a hand before reaching for the drinks, mixing with expert precision. after all, it's not as if he's gone out of his way to be social, either. )

Where do you work?

[ffuckoff]

[Fiona pours the drink with a more casual air; she's been paid for this before, and doing it now is less show and more fun. There's no reason to be precise.] At the school? I'm secretary, there. Snape's Dumbledore Academy... thing. [You know, the guy who might have tortured students in his world. Come, one and all, to learn!]

[sufferably]

( he sloshes the drink around in its glass, lifts it towards her as though for a toast. )

He's the one everyone's going on about, is that right?

Still, must be nice, working with kids. I used to be in Pediatrics, six or seven years ago.

[ffuckoff]

Yeah, the one that might've been a wizard nazi. [She holds her drink up for a salute.] Cheers, to background checks.

[She smiles, just a little, at McCoy's reply. Usually people change the subject when she says she's a secretary.] Yeah, it's nice. Some of them are little assholes, but they're kids, you know? It's nice seeing what they wanna take. Everybody's crazy about the Egypt class.

[sufferably]

( he grins, briefly, before taking an earnest sip. he usually goes for stronger whiskey, but sometimes this is nice, too. )

Egypt, huh. That's Evelyn's class, right? Should've figured she'd be popular.

[ffuckoff]

Yeah, Ms Carnahan. [Ssssomeone works with her.] That, and Alchemy, and the self-defense classes are definitely the most popular. You ever stop by, I can give you a tour. I've got a hat and everything.

[sufferably]

A hat, you say. Now I guess I have to go over.

[ffuckoff]

Ah, shit. Now I have to buy a hat. [She smiles, and takes a sip of her concoction.] ...You're right, it is better.

[sufferably]

Here's a tip-- I'm usually right. Especially about my drinks.

( he smiles again, then stops like he's remembered he doesn't usually do that. )

How long've you been around, then? To see roommates come and go.

[ffuckoff]

Ohh, big talker. I'll consult you on all things in the future. [She keeps on drinking.] Nearly four months. I had one roommate, nice guy, he moved in with his wife when she showed up. That was the British alien. And then some French guy, I dunno where he went. Third time's the American. [Fiona is hoping attempt number four will finally get her a girl roommate, or maybe she'll have moved out by then. Or gone the fuck home.]

[sufferably]

That sucks. Being here that long, I mean.

Least no one in this house seems like an outright ass. ( unless you count him, he supposes. ) Some of the others seem questionable.

[ffuckoff]

Well, this is the nurse house. All the assholes are in the asshole house. [We'll just... not comment on how much it's sucked being stuck here. Yeah.]

[sufferably]

So where do the asshole nurses go?

[ffuckoff]

I guess the gods flip a coin, and here you are. [She laughs-- it's obviously a joke, and meant kindly; Fiona is just an abrasive person in general-- and offers him another drink.] I'm sure there're plenty of assholes everywhere. I just heard that Baldr's made special for douchebags.